Rejected

I’m the president of my school’s Peace Club. I plan events, I bring in food, I recruit new members, whatever. My most important duty, in my humble opinion, is making flyers. Flyers for events or just to promote the club in general. It doesn’t matter, I’ll take any excuse to make one. It’s come to my attention, however, that I really suck at making flyers. Like, badly. I know this because I’ve yet to get a single one approved by our club’s moderator. This isn’t a rant article, I’m just petty. Below the cut are all of my (great) rejected Peace Club flyers. 
Continue reading Rejected

How to be a Successful Teen

Webster’s online dictionary defines the word marketable as: “able or fit to be sold or marketed”.  If you were expecting something more poetic, you’re not alone because I definitely was too.
When I typed marketable skills into Google, the first three results were about how to form your college applications, followed by memes.

This all begs the question: Am I a highly effective teen? If Sean Covey saw me right now would he be proud? Probably not, considering I’ve never read his book since I don’t go to a school that encourages self help reading. (2 million copies sold, at least 50% of sales coming from the Chicago youth). And anyway, the only advice I trust comes from Carrie Bradshaw and/or Dr. Phil.

The answer is yes. I am a highly effective, very successful teen. My entire life I have lived by two simple rules.

1. Be more likable. 

This piece of advice was given to me by my dad years ago. Do you want to fit in? Be more likable. Did someone call you weird? Be more likable. Was your life threatened? It was probably your fault. Be more likable. 

2. Speed X Synergy = Success

This second one has been repeated to me over and over by my grandpa since I was in the womb. Up until now, I haven’t been sure what it’s supposed to mean. Work hard? Eat a lot of fiber? It’s an enigma. But after once again taking advantage of the online dictionary, this is what I’ve managed to find out: Speed is “the rate at which someone or something is able to move or operate.” That’s simple enough, I’ve taken physics. Now, synergy. “The interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects”. That’s…. chilling. I wish that was the definition of marketable.

My life has been a series of wins and successes one right after another. In first grade, I won a spelling bee in front of my mom, brother, co-writer, and entire middle school with the word “check”. In third grade, I made myself a pot of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese by myself without sustaining any 3rd degree burns. In fourth grade, I managed to miss every Friday for nearly two months while simultaneously avoiding my teacher, who threatened to call child services. In eighth grade, I missed 24 days of school, no consequences. My highschool years so far have been riddled with triumphs, too many to count and list here. (Check back in two years when I make a recap post.)

Sidenote: Interestingly enough, the co-writer of this blog lost the 2nd grade spelling bee on the word “log”, burned herself making Maruchan instant ramen when she was 7, and gets her grade lowered a whole letter if she’s absent more than five times a semester.

I owe all of this to the two pieces of advice listed above. Despite what my co-writer may say, I am the smartest 15 year old female in the country. And, by default, I’m smarter than every boy who ever lived. A combination of charm which has given me the ability to talk to adults and con any person I choose, and the incentive to go really, really fast because of a phrase told to me by my grandpa have laid down the building blocks of life for me. I can do nothing but be great and successful. Take these words, and go.